Helping your adult child through their divorce can feel almost as painful as going through a divorce yourself. We all want what’s best for our children, and to see them going through something so stressful can be difficult for any parent. This is a time when they might really need your help, but it’s important to be careful about just how you go about offering it. Make sure that you aren’t being intrusive, and instead, ask them how you can support them. It’s important to keep your opinion about their spouse to yourself, and avoid trash talking whenever possible. Be positive about their future and provide an environment that is supportive. And finally, try to help out with childcare or with everyday household chores while they get back on their feet. The divorce transition can be difficult on children too, so you’ll want to give your grandchildren a little extra love and comfort as well. Divorce is hard for everybody, but hopefully you can give your son or daughter the support they need during this difficult time.

Helping Your Adult Child Through Their Divorce: Easing the Transition

Ask How to Be Helpful

When helping your adult child through their divorce, it’s important to ask first before jumping in to their private business. If they aren’t ready to talk about the split, give them space but let them know that you are a sympathetic ear whenever they are ready. You don’t want to intrude on their life, but make sure they understand that you will be there for them. You can offer to include them in social events or with tasks around the house, but don’t just barge in without an invitation.

Keep Your Opinion Private

It’s also important to keep your opinion about the ex to yourself when helping your adult child through their divorce. Even if their ex-spouse did not treat them well, or caused them pain, you don’t know the entire story. Don’t bash the ex just to make them feel better because you won’t be able to take those words back, even when they are feeling more nostalgic for their marriage. Trash talking can also be damaging for any children to overhear, and can create more issues with the divorce itself.

Be Positive

You’ll want to make sure that you are a positive force in their life, rather than a negative one. Remind them of all the things they have to look forward to in the future, and encourage them to get out of the house and be social. It’s also helpful to remind them to take breaks and get the mental help they need. For example, from a counselor or therapist. They will lean on you for support, so try to keep things positive rather than dwelling on the past.

Help Out Around the House

Finally, make yourself useful around the house when helping your adult child through their divorce. This is a time in their life when even small tasks can feel monumental and draining. So you might consider offering to help with things like laundry, cleaning, or lawn care. If they have children with their ex, you might offer to watch the children some or transport them back and forth between the houses when necessary. Make sure that you are also there for your grandchildren emotionally, as this can be difficult transition for them too. Give them tons of extra reassurance, and remind them that they will get used to their new life very soon. And of course, offer lots of snuggles and tell them how loved they are by both of their parents.

Divorce is one of the most stressful and painful things a person can go through. So watching your child go through it, no matter their age, is hard on parents. If you’re helping your adult child through their divorce, you‘ll first want to ask how you can be helpful. You can offer to do different things for them, but mostly just make sure that they know you are there to support them however they need. Make sure to keep your opinions about their ex to yourself, and avoid trash talking. Instead, focus on the positives in their life and all the things they have to look forward to. Help them get the support they need from therapy and encourage them to be social and get out of the house. Finally, help out with everyday chores or childcare, which can feel overwhelming during this time. And of course,